Wave your hands in the air like you just don’t care…….!
Posted by Caroline on April 7, 2009
There’s been a lot of talk recently about ‘how to dance the Jan Jan/Nor Par’, the routine which accompanies Armenia’s fine 2009 effort (and we mean that most sincerely, it is one of our favourites this year.) You can see it in the official video, there is an instructional video showing you how to do it on Youtube, and we’re pretty certain that come the big night an army of audience members will be going through the motions in Moscow. But here at Eurovision Blog, we’re thinking – why should the other 41 countries be left out of the dance routine fun? And why should you the viewer at home be deprived of the chance to recreate a whole string of routines at your Eurovision party without having to resort to that old Bucks Fizz skirt-ripping cliche? So, just to make some of the other countries feel a bit more part of the fun, we have devised some dance routines for them, complete with handy instructions so that you can join in at home…..(disclaimer: NOT to be taken too seriously……….)
THE LOVE SYMPHONY (Slovenia)
How to do it: Place a large sheet of semi-translucent baking paper over the largest window in your house. Stand behind it wiggling around seductively and brandishing your microphone in a suggestive manner for two and a half minutes. Then break through the paper (be careful not to break through the window at the same time. That would be stupid. ) Sing a bit. Eye up the foxy blokes playing the violins. Repeat.
THE HORA DIN MOLDOVA (Moldova)
Find some people to dance with, link shoulders and career round and round in a big circle until everybody realises they are getting a bit dizzy and fall over.
THE FAIRYTALE (Norway)
Start off with a few Cossack style dance moves, then leap around your living-room in the manner of a small monobrowed pixie, frantically playing the violin. Stop and deliver lecture on how it isn’t a violin at all but actually some kind of specific Norwegian folk instrument that looks just like a violin. Jump up and down and cheer ecstatically as song rockets to top of scoreboard (alternative move: look on in disbelief as your song fails to do nearly as well as everybody is predicting…..)
THE LOSE CONTROL (Finland)
Breakdance like a complete lunatic for two and a half minutes. Pull several muscles. Spend rest of night lying on sofa moaning softly to yourself and vowing never to be so reckless ever again. And, er, that’s it.
THE BE MY VALENTINE (Ukraine)
Hang upside down by your ankles over the shoulders of the nearest available friend. Flip up on to their shoulders and make your way to the floor. Perform the kind of raunchy moves that might have gotten you noticed in Options Nightclub when you were 21 but possibly don’t any more. Swallow an entire strawberry whole. Drop chocolate all over nearest available person. Play some drums. Pout (suggested costume for this routine: ripped tights and a leotard, or possibly some nice M&S pants…..)
THE BISTRA VODA (Bosnia and Herzegovina)
Dress up like the fifth member of Coldplay. Look a bit moody.Suck in cheekbones (don’t forget to breathe while doing this) Repeat ad infinitum.
THE LA VOIX (Sweden)
Make a big, weird-looking sculpture out of tin foil (with one eye hole cut out) and leave it on the floor as you will need this later. Then one person stands in the middle while the others do assorted walking in a line, running round in a circle type dance moves around them. At the final chorus, pick up your foil mask, place it over your face and stand there looking a bit lost and puzzled. Then ring Neil Tennant and apologise for sounding so much like the Pet Shop Boys.
THE THIS IS OUR NIGHT (Greece)
Get all hot and flustered at sight of Sakis Rouvas and forget to do any dance moves whatsoever. Then keel over (ENOUGH aready – Ed)