The First Great Big Weekend Round-Up

It’s official, the pre-contest season is in full swing, with no less than five – count ‘em! five songs being chosen for Oslo over the weekend. Well actually, it’s four and a half given that one of them was the Netherlands but let’s not split hairs here. It’s all gone a bit Scandinavian round Eurovision way over the past couple of days, with only Sweden left in that part of the continent to choose their song (and with only about 4000 hours of Melodifestivalen to go we shouldn’t have too long to wait).

But anyway, where shall we start? The host nation, we think, and in keeping with recent tradition Norway are showing all the signs of a country that really doesn’t want to host the contest again next year. My Heart Is Yours is a competent but rather bland ballad performed by Didrik Solli-Tangen, a cute lad with a powerhouse voice and Jedward hair. Top ten, we think, but that’s about all:

Onwards and upwards to Denmark, who have chosen In A Moment Like This by uber-cute boy/girl duo Chanee and N’Evergreen (look, they hold hands and everything! What is not to love?????). We like this a LOT, albeit in a “we know we shouldn’t really because it’s actually cheesier than an entire plate of Wensleydale, but we just do OK?” kind of way.  Would be very surprised if this didn’t qualify, and we’ll even go so far to say that in a world dominated by this kind of stadium arm-waver nonsense (thank you very much High School Musical and Glee, you have a lot to answer for) this could do very well indeed in the final. So there:

Then we have the Cypriot entry, Life Looks Better In Spring, by Jon Lilygreen and the Islanders which, while not exactly floating our boat, has a kind of commercial mainstream quality that could help its chances. To us though it just sounds like an X Factor winner’s single waiting to happen:

And so to our favourite of the bunch, Iceland’s Hera Bjork with the song Je Ne Sais Quoi. A fabulous schlager stomper sung by a big, likeable diva(actually are we sure it isn’t Dawn French in disguise?)  in a superb frock. It even has a Eurovision-sounding title.  We will fall down in amazement if this doesn’t make the final:

And finally we come to the Netherlands. Now we’d already heard the demo version of Pierre Kartner’s song Ik Ben Verliefd (Sha-la-lie) and as such had refrained from passing judgment until we’d heard the version that would ultimately go to Oslo. OK, so now we have. And, er, we’re speechless. C’mon folks, we thought Papa Smurf’s song was ridiculous and dated to begin with, so who on EARTH decided that a version featuring a Wurlitzer organ and some rock n’roll rhythms, thus turning it into something that wouldn’t be out of place at the Grand Ole Opry (and possibly giving us the closest thing we will get to a novelty entry this year?), would be the thing that would drag the Dutch out of their semi-final doldrums? Even its singer, Sieneke, looks faintly embarrassed. Had this been 1984 and it had benefitted from the addition of some Hot Eyes backing dancers in frilly bloomers it may well have rocketed to the top of the scoreboard. Unfortunately for the Netherlands however, this is 2010. And if they get any points at all they can count themselves screamingly lucky. Still, kudos to the Dutch for acknowledging Pierre Kartner’s former triumph and actually voting for a singer who, for all intents and purposes, looks a little bit like a Smurf:

And on that note, we are off to stick our fingers in our ears and pretend it never happened…..

Let’s All Have A Bit Of Fun With A Finn!

Well several Finns to be precise. The fourth entry to be chosen for Oslo 2010 does indeed come from Finland, who have dispensed with all the heavy metal and breakdance silliness of recent years and come up with something completely different – Finnish folk music, to be precise. We know what you’re thinking – yup, here come the Fairytale clones,  and that reaction is kind of understandable.

But we can prove that the song, Tyolki ellaa by Kuunkuiskaajat (which we have no chance of pronouncing whatsoever so let’s just call them Kajagoogoo for now) couldn’t be further removed from Fairytale if it tried. For one thing it is in Finnish and we can’t understand a word of it. Secondly, it is sung by ladies – two very winsome Scandinavian ladies to be precise who we are slightly convinced are Jan Leeming and Rula Lenska in disguise. Thirdly, we can’t see them hightailing it around Oslo trying to get their photo taken with every Eurovision-related person of note in the green room.  Fourthly, it has an accordion on it which the aforementioned winner did not. Fifthly, they’re not wearing any shoes. Sixth – oh, we give up.

Still, we have to admit that we like this a lot – in much the same way as we liked Belgium 2008. In other words it’s very quirky, highly distinctive, and, er, doesn’t have a cat’s chance in hell of winning. See what you think:

It’s Pete…..

……Waterman that is. Yup, the uber-producer/songwriter who revolutionised the careers of Kylie Minogue, Bananarama, Mel And Kim, Jason Donovan, Sonia and, er, Big Fun, is to pen the UK’s 2010 Eurovision entry. No word yet on song title or any other details or even who’ll be singing it (with the official line being that details of the contest to find the performer will be announced soon).

And OK, we’ll level with you. Initially we were slightly aghast at this, cue comments of ‘isn’t Pete Waterman who you call when Simon Cowell isn’t available?’, while fan forums appear to be buzzing with just one question from the massed ranks of Europe, “Who???????” Clearly the man does not have the same clout as Andrew Lloyd Webber (and we can’t picture him on stage with our singer playing the piano while sporting a fixed grin either). But in hindsight perhaps we should reserve judgment until we’ve heard what he comes up with. Yes, the guy may be formulaic but much of the time it has been a formula that works. Just so long as he comes up with something akin to this:

as opposed to, er, something like this:

And on that note we are going to formulate plans to go into hiding until June……

And There We Were Getting All Excited….

…..at the sudden news this morning that there might be an announcement of some sort regarding the UK’s Eurovision plans for 2010. So we sat here all day on tenterhooks, waiting, waiting……only to find out just moments ago that the songwriter composing our 2010 entry won’t be revealed until tomorrow morning!!!!!! Boooooooooo!

Oh well, c’est la vie. The second we hear anything we will indeed let you know. In the mean time we shall drown our sorrows in a cinnamon sugar pretzel and a nice cuppa……

Honestly, You Couldn’t Make It Up…..

Over in Moldova something very strange appears to be going on in their Eurovision selection process. Seems this year there’s been a competition allowing anybody to enter a song which has resulted in 87 entries being submitted. And one of those entrants, supermarket security guard Pavel Turcu, has since achieved Susan Boyle-esque levels of fame in his home country and is on his way to becoming a cult figure across the rest of Europe – thanks largely to his Europop effort Imn Eurovision. Only it’s not so much the irritatingly repetitive yet oddly catchy song that’s doing it for him, as the accompanying photo on his Youtube clip – which people have taken to their hearts to such an extent that the man himself now has fan clubs, ringtones, Facebook groups, multiple Youtube viewings, TV appearances – you name it, he has it. And he hasn’t even won the Moldovan national final yet (if indeed he does).

Not that we’re sure of the reasons for his cult status, mind – maybe it’s the shiny suit that we’re sure we saw on a Mr Byrite sale rack in 1992? The ever so slightly dated and vaguely sinister haircut? The facial expression which leaves us wondering whether he has had a fence post inserted into a delicate body part? Or just the fact that it’s one of the easiest things in the world ever to produce a parody of (put on ill-fitting suit, stand in front of camera looking ill at ease while song plays in background, everybody laughs, result….)? If you haven’t seen the clip yet, check it out below and judge for yourself…..

For The Sake Of Completeness….

….we bring you the demo version of the Netherlands’ entry, Ik Ben Verliefd (I Am In Love). You have been warned…..

It’s Raining Gold! Hallelujah! Etc….

Ladies and gentleman, we present song number two in the long and arduous trek that is Eurovision 2010. This one comes courtesy of Switzerland’s Michael Von Der Heide and is called Il Pleut de l’or, aka It’s Raining Gold. And despite our initial ‘meh’ reaction and insistence that we couldn’t tell you what it was like as we nodded off two minutes in, why do we have a feeling we will end up quite liking it……?

Go on love, belt it out…..

Is 2010 going to be the year of the powerful voice on the Eurovision stage, we wonder? Firstly there’s Ukraine’s golden-tonsilled hopeful Vasyl Lazarovich, then there’s this lady, Albania’s Juliana Pasha, who won the ticket to Oslo just after Christmas (yes, we are very up to date on this blog, as you can tell) with this effort, Nuk Mundem Pa Ty (or I Can’t Without You, for those of us who don’t speak Albanian….)

Now strictly speaking this is the second of the 2010 entries to emerge since the Netherlands have already given us a sneaky peek at theirs, but since we have no idea exactly what the finished version of that will sound like we’ll credit this as the first official song of 2010 for now. And actually we’re quite impressed. Granted, the song will probably undergo a bit of re-jigging in the same way that Carry Me In Your Dreams did last year (not too much re-jigging though chaps, you don’t want it to end up sounding like a completely different tune) but Juliana certainly has avery impressive pair of lungs on her and we reckon she’ll do it justice whatever the finished version sounds like. Shame about her Su Pollard hair though. Can somebody please get this woman down to the barbers, pronto…..?

You going all serious on us, Ukraine…..?

……because after several years of wackiness and upbeat frivolity, the Ukrainians appear to be adopting rather a different tactic for 2010 and sending this bloke, Vasyl Lazarovich, to represent them in Oslo. Not that we have a problem with this. He’s easy on the eye (well, once we had gotten over the intial shock when we saw a rather bad photo of him and thought they were being represented by Phil Mitchell), he can sing, and could easily do quite well with the right kind of song. It’s just that – well, we’re so used to the Ukrainians coming up with mad, offbeat performances by, how shall we put this, quirky characters wearing dresses and frolicking around with near-naked gladiators, that this Vasyl chap just looks a little bit too sensible to be representing this country on the Eurovision stage. Maybe he could throw something wacky into the performance? Just something small? For us?? Oh well.  Bet he tells a damn good joke at parties though……

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