So Who Does Our Country Need?

We realise that as yet we haven’t said a great deal on the subject of Your Country Needs You (largely this is because Team Eurovision has been away in Malta on a Eurovision vote-canvassing trip, much of which involved lying in luxurious spas being pampered while having a nice in-depth discussion about Chiara’s Eurovision career with the facial-administering lady, but anyway……).

So with the final looming on Saturday, and with us breathing a huge sigh of relief as the Emperors Of Soul are sent packing (no offence to them, they’re very talented, just completely wrong for Eurovision and besides we can’t get over the fact that one of them looked like Andy Abraham in a dodgy wig), while continuing to mourn the loss of lovely Damien, let’s cast an eye over the remaining contenders. Who does the UK REALLY need to represent it in Moscow? Will it be….

JADE?

For her: She is clearly the best singer in the contest by a country mile – witness how she blew away all the competition in the first show – has enormous stage presence and let’s face it, hasn’t exactly been beaten with the ugly stick.

Against her: Leona Lewis, Alexandra Burke, etc. etc……is there actually anything that unique about her or is she just one of a dozen identikit singers? We’re still not sure….

MARK??

For him: The public seem to have taken him to their hearts; a decent singer who has a certain something although we can’t quite figure out what it is at the moment. He has been steadily improving over the weeks, plus has theatrical experience so is used to performing to audiences. And Dima’s victory last year could point to a renaissance for male soloists on the Eurovision stage.

Against him: Used to performing to audiences but they tend to be of the ‘provincial panto in the local theatre’ variety, which may not necessarily come in handy when performing to a crowd of 20,000 people in a Moscow stadium (none of whom will be punctuating his song with cries of, “Mark, he’s behind you!”)

THE TWINS????

For them: “Oh how cute, look, identical twins, what a novelty! And look, they blubber helplessly whenever they win anything! Don’t you just want to kiss them?” (er, no…..)

Against them: They certainly do have the likeability factor and the identical twin novelty, but we’re still not convinced they wouldn’t crumble into a tone-deaf pile of dust if faced with the mighty prospect of the Eurovision stage. Or fall victim to an Azucar Moreno-style blunder and just stand there and cry instead.

OUR VERDICT:

There is an obvious winner here and it should be Jade. But we can’t help thinking that the public will embrace Mark – or the comely Francine and Nicola. We are on tenterhooks for Saturday night….

Bela-snooze?

And the fourth song to be selected for Moscow 2009 is, er, this charming little effort from Belarus. Could we have Koldun back now please?

Go Go Montenegro!

Just when we were beginning to wonder if we would ever be heard using the words “Montenegrin entry” and “We like”  in the same sentence, they come up with this effort for Moscow 2009. A corker, if we’re not mistaken…..

Any Excuse….

…..to drag this old clip out. For those of you who watched Eurovision Your Country Needs You and are excited at the prospect of sending twins to Moscow, we offer this cautionary reminder of what can happen when identical siblings are let loose on a Eurovision stage……

And for the record we are backing Damien. For his obvious talent. And not for any aesthetic qualities whatsoever, you understand…….

Turkish Delight!

For want of a better headline, the second song to be competing in Moscow has been unveiled – and it’s from Turkey. Singer Hadise premiered the song on New Year’s Eve in a show only marginally shorter than the entire Lord Of The Rings trilogy – and actually we’re kind of liking it, even though a) it is bone-grindingly predictable b) clearly perfectly packaged right down to the running time, in direct contrast to the Albanian effort which we reckon runs for around 48 minutes and will have to be pruned, c) the title, Dum Tek Tek might just give rise to the return of ridiculous song titles at Moscow 2009  and d) Hadise has a far more pert and shapely bottom than we do.

Judge for yourself, anyways. In all seriousness, we’d be surprised to see this one blunder….

Your Country Needs You! Er, are you sure….?

So, as Andrew Lloyd Webber’s bid to find the UK’s next Eurovision representative kicks off on Saturday in the shape of the BBC1 show Your Country Needs You, we have just one thing to say: anybody who thinks Lloyd Webber might just be the UK’s Eurovision saviour has clearly forgotten that he was the brains behind this, er classic chart-topper. All together now – one, two, three, four….we’re dooooooooooooooooomed……