Welcome to the Live Blog!

The National Lottery is drawing to a close, the crisps have been laid out and we are all poised to bring you our liveblog coverage of Eurovision 2009. Bring it on……

2000 GMT Te Deum is sounding decided 21st Century these days, and ooooooh look, we are in Moscow. Time for Graham Norton to make his debut……

2001 Cirque de Soliel kick things off, telling the story of how last year’s winner Dima Bilan went off round the world seeking his fortune and became a star. Russian dolls and weirdness abound.

2003 There are peasant women and fireeaters on stage. Am scared.

2004 They’ve gone. And heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere’s Dima, flying in on wires. He is going to sing a souped-up version of Believe by the sound of it. Spectacular stuff.

2007 Dima is singing Believe. Ooooooh, we like this one, can we vote for it?

2009 Dima has more than six people on stage with him. We seem to recall this is not allowed under the rules of Eurovision…..

2010 Our hosts Alsou (who came second for Russia in 2000) and Russian celebrity Ivan Urgant take to the stage. She looks like one of those dolls you stick over toilet roll holders

2012 The first song! It’s Lithuania. A huge cheer greets him. But we still don’t like it.

2017 Time for Israel now. Singing second is traditionally the kiss of death and as hard as they’re trying we can’t see this changing things……still nice to see them in the final.

2020 Patricia Kaas. Claaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasy lady.

2024 Sweden. Still not convinced by this one live but sounded a bit better than it did on Tuesday.

2028 Croatia. Next!

2032 Portugal are on and this song is growing on us soooooooo much. It is as cute as anything. A good outside bet for a top ten place we think.

2037 It’s another beautiful performance from Iceland. This has to be reckoned with a chance at victory.

2041 Greece take to the stage. Sounded a bit shouty but who cares, it’s Sakis and few performances this year as as showy as this one. Still can’t quite work out why he’s striding atop a giant stapler however.

2044 Armenia. And it’s another thumbs up for the Jan Jan ladies.

2047 We get our first glimpse of Russia’s entry. And – yes! as in rehearsals she is wearing a bedsheet. This is doing absolutely nothing for us except to convince us that here is a country who really doesn’t want to host again next year.

2051 Azerbaijan, who are as infectious and likeable as on Thursday night. Top five for sure.

2055 And time for Bosnia and Herzegovina. Gosh, how do we love this song, let us count the ways. Ladies and gentleman, your winner. Possibly.

2059 Here in the UK we don’t have a commercial break since it is shown on the BBC so we are treated to video footage of Russian policemen singing. Meeps?

2100 Moldova next. Still utterly love this, what a joyous performance. Reckon it could be a dark horse for the top five.

2104 We were expecting brilliance from Malta and Chiara didn’t disappoint. Surely it’s about time she won this thing?

2108 Hurrah! Estonia have taken to the stage for their first final since 2003. And what a classy performance, scuppered for us only by the fact we noticed how much the violinist sitting down looks like a young Anthea Turner…..

2112 Denmark next. Are you Ronan in disguise? We are beginning to wonder, Mr Brinck. Very nice song however…..

2115 Time for us to see Germany for the first time this year. Good Lord, what is Oscar wearing? Why do we think he snuck into the Hungarian dressing room and half-inched those trousers the second they got knocked out on Thursday. Oh, now Dita Von Teese is on stage and Oscar’s shirt is falling off. ENOUGH!

2119 Germany have frankly left us speechless, so it’s down to Turkey to try and redress the balance. They are giving it some but does she sound ever so slightly out of tune or is it just us?

2122 Albania, we loved this on Thursday and we are loving it now, although getting ever so slightly excited about the imminent arrival of the pixie…..

2127 The pixie is here. And thank the Lord he is miles better than he was on Thursday night. We are beginning to think they may have this one in the bag……but then we haven’t yet seen Jade.

2131 Ukraiiiiiiiiine! Who once again are so awful that they are actually brilliant.

2135 Sorry but Romania still isn’t doing it for us. And besides, we are already thinking about what is coming next……

2139 Jade nearly got bonked in the face by a violinist. That aside she was ACE. So proud of our girlie…..

2144 Finland actually sound better than they did t’other night. But they still ain’t gonna win it.

2147 And finally…..it’s Spain. They’re in trouble for not broadcasting the second semi final that they were voting in and – OMG, what has happened to the intro? Ah, that’s better. Good lively end to the main part of the show.

2152 What does Yuri Gagarin have to do with Eurovision?

2211 Interval act. We don’t get it.

2218 The voting has begun and the UK got 10 points from Spain!!!!!!!!!!! That is 10 points more than we got in Riga…..

2226 Oh my goodness the UK is in second place. I rather think we may be going to Oslo however……

2230 Hmmmmm, Norway in the lead by 50 points.Anybody think they might win it?

2238 Duncan James from Blue is delivering our result. Pourquoi?

2239 We gave seven points to Germany?????????? Does someone want to explain that one to us?

2241 There is a break in the voting for some Russian folksters to play a song by Tatu. Well it ain’t as if it’s close and tense…..

2245 Greece have given the United Kingdom 12 points! Hurrah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2251 Do we think Norway might win it?

2252 Cyprus have given their 12 points to Greece. Quelle surprise. What a shame Greece couldn’t return the favour…..

2255 Norway have broken 300. And are now officially the biggest winners ever in Eurovision history. In other news, look how well France are doing…..:-)

2258 Moldova just got 12 points from Romania. And now Ireland are voting. Wonder where their 12 will go??????

2259 No!!!!!! They gave it to Iceland! But 10 is good, hurrah!

2302 It is overrunning, and the Slovenian juror has called for a moment of silence. ENOUGH!

2302 So……will Norway break 400?

2304 Russian lady is wearing a hairnet in the green room. Well it is 2am in Moscow……

2307 It is all over, and Norway have won. Why are we not surprised…….?

2310 Lys Assia is about 102, surely? We are on a high here. We love pixie’s winning song and the UK has had its best result in years. Soooooooooooo proud of our Jade. And with that in mind we are off for a nice cup of tea and a sit-down. Bring on 2010!

Enjoy the show……

…..because we certainly will. And if you want to know who’s going to win, we confidently predict it will be – one of the 25 countries listed below……..

And we have a running order…..!

It’s all over bar the shouting – for the semi-finals at least – and this is the order of the line-up for Saturday night…..

LITHUANIA

ISRAEL

FRANCE

SWEDEN

CROATIA

PORTUGAL

ICELAND

GREECE

ARMENIA

RUSSIA

AZERBAIJAN

BOSNIA AND HERZEGOVINA

MOLDOVA

MALTA

ESTONIA

DENMARK

GERMANY

TURKEY

ALBANIA

NORWAY

UKRAINE

ROMANIA

UK

FINLAND

SPAIN

Semi-final 2 – the qualifiers…..

…..are as follows:

AZERBAIJAN

CROATIA

UKRAINE

LITHUANIA

DENMARK

ALBANIA

MOLDOVA

ESTONIA

NORWAY

GREECE

We do declare that we got  9 out of 10 once again. And we’re now going for a long lie-down to recover from the Netherlands’ performance…..

The Great Big Eurovision Experiment 2009 – Cyprus

Wave hello to this year’s youngest performer, Cyprus’ Christina Metaxa…..

How does it feel to be representing your country at this year’s Eurovision Song Contest?

It is pure magic and to be honest I realized that when I started meeting the “Eurovision family” the amazing, enthusiastic eurovision fans I met during my promo tour in England, Holland and Ukraine. I feel honored and blessed to be given this opportunity and I will do my very best to make my little beautiful island proud.

What are you most looking forward to about taking part?

Enjoying the 3 minutes and managing to touch the hearts of the audience with the melody of my song.

What can we expect from your performance? Are you planning a lavish stage show?

As our art director “Photis Nikolaou” said “It will be a performance of the heart, a jewel on stage, a beam of light in the darkness…”

Have you ever been to Moscow and are you looking forward to it?

I have never been to Moscow and I am excited about it!!!!

Which of this year’s other songs do you rate?

I am a person who tends to be positive and look at the beauty of each song. There are so many beautiful and unique songs that I really like…but of course…I am expecting those 3 minutes to finally rate the songs.

Which is your favourite Eurovision song of all time, and which is your favourite from your home country

Ireland’s song “Hold me now” with the amazing Johnny Logan and Switzerland’s “Ne partez pas sans moi” with my favourite singer Celine Dion. From my home country I really like “ Comme ci comme ca” with Evridiki and Korgialas.

What do you think about the debate over so-called ‘political’ voting?

It shouldn’t exist as this is a musical party and we should all vote for the music that touches our heart.

How do you think the return of jury voting might influence the final result?

I believe it will make it more valid and it will make it more reliable.

Why do you think Eurovision is still so popular, even after all these years?

Because music unites people .It is the language of the universe and it will never stop touching the hearts of people.

Have you heard the UK’s song this year and what do you think? Any chance your country could give us some points this year (please…….? 🙂 )

Personally, I love the melody of the song and generally I am a big fan of Andrew Lloyd Webber. Of course our country will give you some points this year.

And here we go again…..

……with predictions for who’ll be qualifying from the second semi-final on Thursday……

NORWAY – because if he doesn’t he’ll ride down from Hogwarts on his broomstick and (STOP IT RIGHT NOW – Ed), er, we meant because it’s the hottest favourite in years and there is no question of it qualifying. The real question is whether it can win – and we’re beginning to sense that with one of the strongest final line-ups in years looming large that Alexander may find it tougher than he thinks. A lot will of course depend on where he lands in the running order – 16th would be pretty good but if he ends up going first then we can potentially wave bye bye to Hammerfest 2010….

AZERBAIJAN – because they are always on our minds. And because they’ll be dancing to this one on the beaches in Benidorm this summer, mark my words – ’tis a fab summery pop tune and as far as we’re concerned the final would be a poorer place without it.

GREECE – because even though the song is a tad ordinary there are millions of dribbling masses of both sexes all across Europe who are more than happy to pick up the phone and vote for Sakis’ biceps.

DENMARK – because we like the idea of a full house for Scandinavia, and simply because it’s a damn good pop song of the sort Denmark are very good at (and Ronan Keating of course). Another one of the dark horses, we suspect.

UKRAINE – because Svetlana is barking. And we need barking people in the final.

ESTONIA – because (and we never thought we’d find ourselves saying this about an Estonian entry) it deserves to, damn it! After several years in the semi-final wilderness they have finally come up with a decent, classy tune, and it ought to be there. And if it isn’t we will sulk.

MOLDOVA – because the editor’s three-year-old daughter (hereafter referred to as ‘Junior Eurovision’ caught a snatch of it the other day and proudly declared, “that’s YOU singing, Mummy!” (Editor is now changing her name to Nelly with immediate effect……) And also because we liked this from the second we heard it and you just know the stage show is going to be bonkers.

ALBANIA – because we’ve fallen in love with it, and anybody who performs on stage with an odd-looking blue gimp while dressed like something out of The Wizard of Oz certainly gets our vote.

SERBIA – because they are Serbia. And as ridiculous as their song Cipolata (It’s Cipela, actually – Ed) might be we love the fact they have diverted from their formulaic po-faced ballads, and for that reason they deserve to be in the final.

LITHUANIA – close run thing between them and Croatia but we have plumped for Sasha Son because even though we’re not keen on the song it seems to have a lot of fans. This, incidentally, is also our bet to kick off the final although obviously it has to qualify first. But it wouldn’t surprise us if it was Croatia. Hmmmmmm, think we have covered our backs there 🙂

Close but no cigar

Croatia

Hungary

Other possibles

Latvia – because we’ve debated this one long and hard and have a hunch about it. Quite why we’re not sure but there’s a part of us that thinks this may have some strange appeal, if this and Serbia don’t cancel each other out that is.

Ireland – because we like this one and always have done even though it sounds like Josie And The Pussycats meets Hannah Montana. It’s probably a bit of a no-hope if we’re being honest but if the younger audience take to it then who knows what could happen?

Onwards and upwards to Thursday……

WAHEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So with one semi-final down and another looming, the running order so far looks something like this…..

1  – ?????
2 Israel
3 France
4 Sweden
5  – ?????
6 Portugal
7 Iceland
8  – ?????
9 Armenia
10 Russia
11 – ?????
12 Bosnia-Herz.
13 – ?????
14 Malta
15 – ?????
16 – ?????
17 Germany
18 Turkey
19 – ?????
20 – ?????
21 – ?????
22 Romania
23 U.K.
24 Finland
25 Spain

Now obviously we don’t know what order Thursday’s qualifiers will be singing in (and the prospect of one of the favourites like Norway or Azerbaijan kicking things off, thus potentially ruining their chances of victory) but based on what we have here, can we just offer one great big YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY! for the position in which the UK now finds itself? Not only do we have a fantastic position in the running order but we are now surrounded by, how shall we put this, the two weakest qualifiers from last night. Obviously don’t want to jump the gun here, but we are tentatively packing our bags for Chalfont 2010 as we speak……….

Our qualifiers……

are as follows…..

TURKEY

SWEDEN

ISRAEL

PORTUGAL

MALTA

FINLAND

BOSNIA AND HERZEGOVINA

ROMANIA

ARMENIA

ICELAND

The Time Has Come…..

….to make our predictions for the first semi-final qualifiers. Which are as follows……..

SWEDEN – because a) they are Sweden, and b) when your song sounds like what the Pet Shop Boys would sound like if they teamed up with Lesley Garrett and you’re accompanied by a load of foxy blokes wearing silver foil cones on their heads, there really is no question of not qualifying. Honest.

BOSNIA AND HERZEGOVINA – because Chris Martin will doubtless be calling in to cast approximately eight million votes for the Balkan Coldplay. Oh,and because it’s one of the best songs in the contest…..

TURKEY – because let’s face it, they could belch the Istanbul phonebook on stage and get through. Even though Dum Tek Tek is, how shall we put this, a tad ordinary (gasp!)

ARMENIA – because we will be jumping up with a Jan Jan. And because Armenia have been in every single final since they first entered Eurovision and they’re not going to break their track record with a song this good.

MALTA – because Chiara is Eurovision royalty and deserves it. And because we have been going round all week saying, “So what if we – er, vote for her? (Just stop it already -Ed)

ICELAND – because – er, we can’t really think of a reason other than it’s a rather stirring ballad reminiscent of that Norwegian song that did so well last year. And because it has ‘dark horse’ written all over it.

SWITZERLAND – because strictly speaking it’s the best song in the contest, possibly too good for Eurovision. And because they have U2’s producer and we’re scared that if we leave it out Bono might come round and shout at us. Seriously though they deserve it. So yes please!

PORTUGAL – because the fans either a) love it or b) feel sorry for them, we can’t quite work out which. Don’t ask us to sing it to you though because we can’t actually remember how it goes no matter how many times we hear it.

FINLAND – because one minute we thought no, now we think yes. Still not sure but we’ll go with it because it seems popular. And we want the chance to dance like lunatics to it in the final.

ISRAEL – because there is a thing called a ‘jury vote’ and we think this might get it. And because we didn’t want to include FYR Macedonia or Belarus……

CLOSE BUT NO CIGAR

Montenegro – just get out of my contest?

Romania – the Balkan Girls clearly don’t like to party enough……

OTHER POSSIBLES

Bulgaria – we almost went for this instead of Israel but still finding Krassi’s falsetto a bit offputting.Put it this way, we wouldn’t be surprised to see it in the final.

Czech Republic – because we’re allowed one random mad prediction of the year and we just have a feeling this may do a lot better than everybody is predicting. Especially given the fact that not only can they actually play, but they seem to know how to put on a performance – even if that does involve one of them dressing up in a dodgy superhero costume. It could happen! Seriously…..

Enjoy the show, people……………………

Pixiewatch: Day 4,572

Look, we like Alexander Rybak, we love his song and wish him good luck in Moscow (not that we’re really convinced he needs it). But really, the Norwegian pixie seems to be mutating into the kind of person who hangs around outside stage doors at regional pantomimes waiting to have his photo taken with the Krankies. Further evidence of which is proven by this, which pinged into our mailbox a couple of days ago….

In case you were wondering, this is Eurovision legend Phillip Kirkorov (the one on the right that is). And frankly we can’t work out which of this pair looks more terrified.

Next week: Alexander goes in search of random members of Scooch, and is seen in the bar of the Theatre Royal Grimsby in the hope of getting Little and Large’s autographs…….