Make your minds up already!!!!

The ongoing saga of the Hungarian representative at this year’s Eurovision appears to have finally reached a satisfactory conclusion. Originally they planned to send a bubble-haired singer called Mark Zentai with a rather dodgy pop tune, until it became apparent it had been released previously. Along came Katya Tompos with the dullest ballad we’ve heard in the Eurovision arena for a long time, then she also withdrew. So….now we have Adok Zoltan with a little number called Dance With Me, and – it’s blimmin’ ace! Which leads us to the question: why didn’t Hungary just submit this song to start with and save themselves a whole lot of bother…….??

Explain yourselves!

Just when we were starting to actually think that FYR Macedonia deserved their yearly place in the Eurovision final (due to their apparent ability to breeze through even when dishing up a hearty pile of musical cack…..), they come up with this little number from local lads Next Time for Moscow 2009. Is it just us, or is it as if 1987 never ended……?

See anyone you recognise……?

Without blowing any editorial trumpets, we feel compelled to draw your attention to this…….

Those Wacky Bulgarians Part 782

Techno beats! Women larking around on stilts! Strange backing singers! Flaming torches! Falsetto singing blokes wearing chainmail sweaters! Yup, it’s congratulations to Bulgaria, and their singer Krassimir Aramov, for delivering the weirdest and wackiest Eurovision entry so far this year…..

Look! It’s Harry Potter!?

Not content with the world of magic and spell-casting, it seems that everybody’s favourite boy wizard is now having a crack at that annual Muggle ritual known as the Eurovision Song Contest. Quite how (stop it at once, you know perfectly well that it’s Alexander Rybak from Norway and not Mr Potter at all – Ed) Er, yes. Where were we? All resemblances aside, the Norwegians have come up with our favourite 2009 entry so far, courtesy of Rybak, a violin toting whiz who was born in Belarus but now lives in Scandinavia – thus no doubt ensuring votes from that part of the continent as well as the entire former Soviet bloc. Yup, we reckon they’ve got it in the bag. And if not, he will at least win the award for the most expressive eyebrows in song contest history…..

Taking it seriously this year, are we……?

We’re referring to Ireland, who fell flat on their faces last year with Dustin The Turkey’s attempt at a novelty song. However, the turkey is now history (rumours that it was last seen filling a sandwich at a Dublin branch of O’Briens have been firmly denied) and Ireland have decided to do things properly this year – and how properly they’ve done them!  A real departure from the ballads and folky twiddles that have won them countless contests in the past, Et Cetera is sparky, modern pop that makes us want to leap up and down and wave our tights in the air. The kids are gonna love it…..

Did someone say Greek God……?

Not us. Heaven forbid. After all, it’s only Sakis Rouvas, representing Greece for the second time at Eurovision with the song This Is Our Night. The female sector of Team Eurovision sees nothing to get remotely excited about (Editor catches sight of Sakis’ black jeans, eyes start to glaze over…..) Oh all right then, Sakis Rouvas could belch the Athens phone book on stage and we’d be transfixed, is that what you want to hear?

Seriously though folks, we reckon Sakis has to be in with a chance. Although we’re not quite sure, we’ll just have to watch this another few thousand times to decide…..

Come again?

Did we hear the title of the Georgian entry correctly? We Don’t Wanna Put In? We Don’t Wanna Put In what, exactly? Do you people have no idea of the fundamentals of English grammar? Oh, hang on a sec…..Georgia, recent events relating to the disputed regions South Ossetia and Abkhazia, contest in Russia, Russian prime minister Vladimir – oh we get it. Ladies, that’s very naughty, and you will probably have to change your title to something innocuous possibly relating to desserts like Verka Serduchka did.

Us? We’re just sat here waiting for the controversy to erupt. Judge for yourselves, people…..

We Are The Winners! Er, no…..

Nice hat, Sasha Son – but the jury is still out on your song for Lithuania…..

And there’s more….!

It was another busy old weekend in Eurovision land – here, chosen on Saturday, is Iceland’s effort – a winsome blonde lass singing a ballad:

And here’s the song from Poland – a, er, winsome blonde lass singing a ballad:

Do you see a pattern emerging here…..?