(Almost) the last round-up….

First things first, we must apologise for the radio silence in recent days. While the rest of the Eurovision fraternity has been frothing about this that and the other, we have been engaged in a small trifle called ‘work’. But hey, there was only so long we could put off taking a look at the rest of this year’s entries, now that they have been chosen, so let’s get going with this little number from Slovakia. Now if you get get over the hair metal posturing and rather shabby looking set then this effort, Don’t Close Your Eyes by Max Jason Mai, isn’t half bad actually. So much so that we almost think the Slovakians could even be in with a chance of making the final this year. Mind you we thought that in 2010 and look how that one fared:

Next we have Portugal’s Filipa Sousa with her effort Vida Minha. Er, Portugal, you know how you’ve never actually won Eurovision? Well songs like this are the reason why, OK….? I mean we’re all for playing it safe, especially after what you sent to the contest last year, but in truth this actually leaves us longing for Homens da Luta to stage a comeback:

Time for something completely different now, and here’s Romania’s Mandinga with their song Zaleilah. Now this one really does tick all the boxes in the Eurovision book of cliches – wacky men playing the accordion, bonkers dancing, a lady whose clothes seem to fall off entirely by accident (in this instance before the first verse has even kicked in). Oh and bagpipes. And you know what? We bloomin’ well love it. OK, so sound-wise this is basically Cotton Eye Joe for the Facebook generation, but it’s so utterly joyful and catchy that we just can’t resist it. And we have a sneaking suspicion that along with Israel this could be one of those ‘dark horse’ entries which sneaks up the scoreboard when nobody’s looking and nabs about a zillion points:

Finally in this batch we come to the remarkably similar effort from Moldova (now there’s a surprise), Pasha Parfeny’s Lautar. Just a few things we would like to point out to Pasha here – firstly, you look like Colin Farrell, secondly the double checkered fabric look should really be avoided at all costs, and finally you, sir, are bonkers. How else do you explain the moment in this performance when you mount one of the dancers and begin riding her like a horse? That said we actually rather like this song, and you can pretty much guarantee they will exchange points with Romania, since both songs sound so remarkably similar and are the product of, how shall we put this, eccentrics:

Next up: Bosnia and Herzegovina, Greece, and anyone else we’ve forgotten….

 

 

And you can behave yourselves too!

Yes, that’s you we are referring to, Portugal. As if having retro sounding titles this year wasn’t enough, Portugal’s effort comes from the comedy sextet Homens da Luta, who have tried and failed to crack Eurovision before but this year somehow succeeded against the odds with Luta E Alegria.  Judging from the audience reaction at the Festival de Cancao after they had won, complete with boos and people walking out, this wasn’t the most popular of choices, and we can see why. Yes, we understand that Homens da Luta are supposed to be a comedic tribute to post Carnation Revolution performers but is anybody outside of Portugal actually going to understand that? Or are they just going to see yet another band in dodgy outfits singing a bad song that they can poke fun at for years to come? It has of course occurred to us that this has been chosen in protest by the people of Portugal at the fact they have never won the contest. Er, guys, keep on sending songs like this and you never will…..

The Great Big Super Super Extra Large Weekend Round Up

Phew! What a busy weekend it was in Eurovision land. No less than seven songs chosen for Oslo. So instead of waffle, let’s get down to business. First up we have the Croatian entry, which is by Feminnem, who represented Bosnia and Herzegovina a few years ago with the oh-so-cute Call Me (are you keeping up?). They seem to have grown up a bit for this one, as Lako Je Sve is a dramatic ballad which we would like more if a) it didn’t sound so much like a cross between Molitva and Believe, b) it weren’t for the mad overblown posturing in the performance which reminds us of something out of a Shakespear’s Sister video c) they didn’t include that funny heart thing at the end and d) their frocks looked a bit less odd. Still, those in the know inform us this has a good chance of winning so we shall monitor it with interest:

Next up we have Ukraine, Vasyl Lasarovich’s I Love You. And the less said about this one the better, except to say that we’re very very disappointed in you Ukraine. And we wouldn’t be at all surprised if you didn’t make the final this year:

Ramping up the tempo a bit, we come to Moldova, who bypassed the much-hyped Pavel Turcu in favour of this,  Run Away by Sun Stroke Project and Olia Tira. ‘This year’s Waldo’s People’ is probably the best way of putting it:

And it’s back to the ballads with Portugal’s Filippa Azevedo, singing Ha Dias Assim. If ever a 1980s James Bond theme had been commissioned out to a Portuguese artist, it would probably have sounded something like this. And we can safely say that their record as the longest-serving country without a Eurovision win isn’t going to be troubled this year:

And finally, our favourite song to be chosen on Saturday night, Romania’s Playing With Fire by Paula Seling and Ovi. Let’s think why we like this one so much? Because of the double-sided piano? The operatics? The fact it’s NOT A BLOOMIN’ BALLAD? Or possibly because it’s just ridiculous and playful and fun and ever so slightly barking? Er yes, that’d be it. Plus of course they’re clearly the anti-Chanee and N’Evergreen, while Paula amply fills the ‘mammoth-haired East European diva’ role normally taken care of by the Ukrainians. This has to be in the final as far as we’re concerned:

Sunday, meanwhile, brought with it two more songs. Now we watched some of the Russian final and there were some pretty good tunes, including our favourite by the folk-singing grannies known as Buranovskiye Babushki – so quite why this turgid effort, Lost And Forgotten by the Peter Nalitch Band (or as we like to refer to them, Kings Of Leonid), got chosen is beyond us:

And last but not least we have the year’s most pleasant surprise to date, from Belgium. Now in common with their neighbours the Netherlands, the Belgians haven’t done too well of late, so much so we almost began to think they had given up. In other words this could have gone one of two ways. They could have gone the way of the Dutch and entered a load of complete nonsense or they could actually have gone back to the drawing board and thought about how they could possibly improve upon recent performances. And it seems – hurrah! – they’ve done the latter. Tom Dice’s Me And My Guitar, which in essence is the man himself, with a guitar, might bear a passing resemblance to Mark Cohn’s Walking In Memphis, but it’s a very likeable, simple song that has huge mainstream appeal and will go down a storm with the juries. Good move Belgium. You may just have gotten yourself your most successful entry in years: