It’s Englebert….

…..Humperdinck, to be precise. Yup, the 75-year-0ld formerly known as Arnold Dorsey is set to take to the Eurovision stage for the United Kingdom in May. With a song written by Martin Terefe and Sacha Skarbek who have previously penned songs for the likes of Mary J Blige and Adele. We’ll level with you. It COULD work. We’ll be offering further thoughts on this soon, but in the mean time for those less familiar with the Hump (as we are now referring to him), here’s a picture:

Form an orderly queue, ladies….

 

 

So tonight’s the night…..

…….that the UK FINALLY announces who will be representing us in Baku. And according to those in the know, it is a ‘Grammy-nominated legendary name’ who from what we gather is on the older side. This potentially sounds promising. Tom Jones is a Grammy nominated legend. So is Elton John. So is Paul McCartney. On the other hand, so are Bonnie Tyler and Rick Astley.

All will no doubt be revealed later on. In the mean time, we would like to say that secretly we are hoping for David Hasselhoff as this would win us a cake-related bet. Seriously. If we’re wrong can we have the cake anyway??

La la la la la Liechtenstein…..

Now here’s an interesting bit of news, albeit one that’s been floating around for months. Word has reached Team Eurovision HQ (oh all right then, we read it on Oiko Times) that the teeny tiny country of Liechtenstein – a place so small that our editor eventually found it on her map of Europe underneath a crumb of chocolate Hob Nob – could well be joining the pack in Oslo next year. According to the story, the country is set to join the European Broadcasting Union by December of this year – and is said to be very keen to take part, possibly using a show similar to Germany’s Deutschland Sucht Den Superstar to find their first ever participant.

Now we can’t help but be excited by this, because a new arrival in Eurovision is always interesting – but we can’t help wondering how they might cope if they actually won the contest.

For one thing the place is so small it doesn’t even have an airport or railway station – you have to hop off in neighbouring Switzerland and make your journey over from there – and reports also suggest that the capital, Vaduz, is roughly the size of Team Eurovision’s living-room.  (For further information we suggest you check out Bill Bryson’s Neither Here Nor There which has a fabulously funny chapter on his own visit to Vaduz). All of which leads us to wonder whether they would actually have anywhere they could host it, should they hit the jackpot in Oslo (the Postage Stamp Museum perhaps? Can’t see it ourselves…..)

Still, if Liechtenstein do step up to the plate that would leave just one European country, Vatican City, yet to take part in Eurovision. Although since they have a population of about 12 people we can’t see that happening any time soon. And with the departure of Andorra and Monaco, no confirmation of San Marino’s return, and Luxembourg constantly denying rumours that they’re poised for a grand comeback, there’s definitely an opening for one of the smaller European nations. Only a very tiny one, mind…..