It’s A Big Weekend…

…in Eurovision land once again. And frankly we can’t decide what to watch – Georgia, Finland, Latvia? Oh to hell with it, let’s watch the UK national final instead.Because even though we’re distinctly underwhelmed by this year’s contenders (“inoffensive” is probably the best word to describe them, but thank heavens there isn’t a gimmicky one amongst them) you just know we’re going to get terribly excited and wrapped up in the whole thing. Even though in the backs of our minds we’ll be wondering whether Wolves Of The Sea will be going to Belgrade or not.

And who are we backing to fly the UK flag? Well we’re not sure actually – at this stage the only one we’re ruling out is Rob McVeigh on the grounds of it being DULL as DITCHWATER (sorry to be so frank but there it is). An argument can be made for all the other contenders – Simona Armstrong would give us a chance of capturing the East European vote (or at the very least the Moldovan vote), LoveShy and The Revelations both have catchy tunes (even if the former is Serebro-lite), and Michelle Gayle – well, we’ll come back to you on that one.

That said, we’re backing Andy Abraham to represent the UK. And not just because our mothers like him (and spent more money than was really necessary voting for him to win The X Factor). His song isn’t half bad – a refreshing change of pace from what the UK has put forward recently – and we know the boy can perform. Besides, we’re just relieved it’s him who is the representative ‘X Factor reject’. And not the McDonald Brothers.

All will be revealed tomorrow night…

Dustin’s Off, Man….

….to Belgrade to be precise, after winning the Irish final last night. Yes, the turkey triumphed, in what could only be decsribed as the most foregone conclusion of the Eurovision season so far, with his perky little number Irlande Douze Points. And as judge Dana looked on in horror, all we could wonder was whether Dustin might melt if he gets too close to the stage lights on semi-final night. And what he might taste like with roast potatoes and cranberry sauce.

Meanwhile, rumours that Hartley Hare from Pipkins plans to make a last minute bid for the UK are entirely unfounded….

We Like…

…this lively little number from the Latvian national final. It has a gimmick! A catchy chorus! A snappy dance routine! Costumes! Interesting lyrics which suggest someone has spent too much time playing Pirates on Facebook! In short, what’s not to love……? 

So No Change There Then…

To be honest, we’re not going to waste time and valuable online resources analysing the six finalists in the snappily titled Eurovision – Your Decision, largely because, well, there just seems to be no point somehow. We were expecting contributions from a bunch of unknowns, reality show rejects and members of that group of people known as the Formerly Famous – and surprise, surprise, that’s what we got. So really – apart from congratulating ourselves on predicting something which was a foregone conclusion anyway – there isn’t really a whole lot else to say. And until we’ve had a chance to hear the songs it wouldn’t be fair of us to pass judgment on how the UK may fare.

That said…is it just us or is having Andy Abraham, runner up in The X Factor over two years ago, in the line-up, a bit like buying clothes from a Marks And Spencer outlet store, only to discover they’re actually from the 2005 collection and not last season’s stock at all? Just a thought…..

The Novelty Factor

Oh dear. It appears that this craze for novelty songs in Eurovision is one which isn’t going to go away in a hurry. No sooner have Estonia come up with the jaunty, frankly bizarre Leto Svet (featuring foil-wrapped dancers, dodgy-haired men in pastel and one chap trying to, er, have his wicked way with a piano,  than confirmation comes from Ireland that local ‘celebrity’ Dustin The Turkey is in the national final- and is hot favourite to win the Irish ticket to Belgrade.

The poultry puppet is hoping for success with Irlande Douze Points, which in its rough form features lyrics about how everybody should vote for Ireland (shades of LT United and Silvia Night perhaps?) , while apologising for Riverdance and paying tribute to Bono’s trousers. We’re not sure what to make of it, since the joke has thus far whizzed over our heads, although to be fair they couldn’t really do any worse than last year (well, all right they could do five points worse, but anyway……).

Quite aside from the suggestion among Team Eurovision that the UK should respond to this reckless behaviour by sending Basil Brush, we can’t help noticing that it seems to be the countries with the least to lose who are sending the more, how shall we say, unusual entries. After all Ireland finished last in 2007 and apart from Brian Kennedy’s top ten finish the previous year they’ve been having a hard time lately trying to recapture the glory days of the 1990s.

As for Estonia, well they’re the only remaining former Soviet state who have yet to make it out of the semi-final, and haven’t seen the top ten of the scoreboard since 2002. Bearing in mind the other countries who have scored with novelty entries in recent years – Lithuania’s LT United and Austria’s Alf Poier spring to mind – perhaps both Ireland and Estonia are hoping that this could be just the thing to revive their Eurovision fortunes. Or perhaps they’ve reached the stage where they’re just happy to send any old nonsense – and potentially do better than when they take it seriously.

There is just one thing we want to know however: if Dustin does triumph in Belgrade, will it be regarded as another victory for Turkey?